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August 5, 2004
Hummer in Pink
Came across this little article while reading Blogsnow:
"Unless you drive one of the largest SUVs, such as the Chevy Suburban, the Cadillac Escalade, or the Ford Excursion, I'll bet you've watched them thundering down quiet residential lanes and wondered to yourself: Why is that monster allowed on this little street?Well, here's a surprising piece of news. It may not be."
Full article here: California's SUV Ban
I've always contended that those big guzzlers were much more trouble than they were worth. As soon as gas prices skyrocketed, I started to plan. Forget that silly "don't pump your gas on such-and-such date" email. That's a proven failure. Ignore the "Don't buy gasoline from companies that do business in the middle east" email. Frankly, there's a limited supply of gasoline anyway, so it won't make any difference.
My solution is this. Find out what the five biggest gas guzzlers are: The Hummer series qualify as number 1 and 2. Send the kind of email that self-perpetuates out to as many people as possible saying something to the effect that the solution to the crisis would be to go out and spraypaint the windows of any of those five guzzlers that you see out in public, with, oh...pink spray paint. Don't get caught, of course!
If the vandalism spread out, it would result in the the owners becoming less and less willing to drive those vehicles, eventually selling them some more economic and less susceptible model. Why should they be so arrogant to drive those enormous tanks; because they can afford the gasoline?
I've never implemented this, because sure as shit I'd have federal agents find out it was me and arrest me on sedition or something like that. I wouldn't even be able to join Michael because they don't allow people with compromised immunity at Eglin.
Anyway, these gas guzzlers have the rest of us to contend with. We, who cannot afford the gasoline vastly outnumber them. And we know it's their fault we're paying so much. They're the ones who make America the gas hog it is. Okay...maybe the oil industry takes more of the blame but these people are hardly without guilt.
So this six thousand ton thing is a rather likeable thing. Keep these artifacts-as-soon-as-they're-bought off the road and buried deep in garages and frankly, I've had enough of them. I hope someone can enforce it.
How could someone be dumb enough to buy one of these, anyway?
Posted by Bastique at August 5, 2004 11:57 PM