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November 24, 2004
Holiday Exclusion
Every one of my siblings is going to be at my mother’s tomorrow for the holiday: Susan, Jody, Chris and even Brendan, my brother from my father’s (not my mother’s) second coupling. Therefore, despite the fact that I took a trip up to South Carolina for my high school reunion just last month, the only opportunity to see my brothers, Jody and Brendan, as well as my cousin Jackie, who decided to join in this year, would be to drive back.
This group is going to include Susan’s kids, Heather, Nicholas and Jack, hubby Dennis, Jody’s wife Diana, and Christopher’s little conglomerate, Helen, Jacob and baby Molly. Don’t know yet of Jacqueline is bringing spouse or children, but I guess we’ll find out when we get there. Brendan, at 23, hasn’t yet found wedded bliss. Also included will be my stepfather of 15 or so years, Doug. I am also not sure whether his daughter, Becky and her husband, Tracy and their children, Brandon (not to be confused with Brendan) and Megan.
The day has started off to a great start. My phone alarm went off at 7:00 am and I showered and drove down the street to the Tires Plus, just west of Commercial Boulevard and Prospect Road, for an oil, fluid and filter change and maintenance check. I walked away with a front-wheel alignment as well, for a total ticket of $118.00. I skipped on the tires as they were to costly and they rotated the front ones, worn because of the needed alignment, into the back. I heartily recommend Tires Plus to anyone who needs auto maintenance.
Michael has always accompanied me for these trips; but, being in prison makes it difficult for him to join us. At least now that more members of the family have been reading the blog, the cat is somewhat out of the bag, excepting only my stepfather, Doug; whom my mother has, in her thoughtfulness, decreed unworthy of receiving this information. This will likely be the only tension I have among the group as I have to glare at any family member who comes close to mentioning Michael’s situation.
What happens when he gets out, and we decide that he merits a return to my life and the hearth of my family? Will there be a made-up story about him being in the Peace Corps, India, or somewhere near Baghdad as a corporate advisor to the new government? I always find that lies have a tendency of blowing out of proportion whether we intend them to or not, and that when forced to compound a lie with more lies, the original story always seems less severe to begin with. Plus, I’m one of the worst liars in the world.
It’s hard enough for me to come up with facts. When something is on the tip of my tongue, I usually wind up swallowing it. Sure I could set a lie into motion but when questions are asked, trying to follow it up right away with plausible correlatives becomes difficult. And I never can remember what I’ve already told, so it’s all too likely I will contradict myself.
So what’s wrong with the truth? Michael and I got hooked on drugs. I was able to quit, but not until after great difficulty and emotional pain. Michael had a harder time stopping, and wound up selling to support his habit. The selling got out of control and federal agents busted him. While it’s his responsibility to understand the harm he did to society, and his duty to pay society back by serving time; anyone that knows Michael also knows that he was under the influence when this occurred.
Under the influence of crystal meth, Michael wasn’t the man with whom I decided to share my home, my time, my life; my experience with him during those days attested to that fact. The Michael I grew to love and love still today is someone who is caring, has a huge heart and is sympathetic to others. Whatever bad decisions he has made he is paying the consequences, some of which he will have to endure for the rest of his life. His career is destroyed. He’ll never be able to apply for a great many different jobs. He’ll not even be able to vote again without having to file to the State of Florida for a petition to restore civil rights. But he’ll at least he’ll be free.
It’s no wonder that so many felons return to a life of crime; the frustration with reintegration into society is too much. My burning question remains: How do we expect society in general to accept that he’s paid his debt, if I am compelled to be dishonest with some of my very own relatives?
Posted by Bastique at November 24, 2004 10:31 AM