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December 19, 2004

Craig

doveMy cousin, Craig died this morning. He would have been 45 years old on New Year’s Day.

He’s a hard one to talk about, because we were never close, like I am with my other cousins. He drank, regularly and heavily, for most of his life. He died in his sleep, after suffering from cancer that spread from his liver and further out.

The family found out a few weeks ago he didn’t have long to live, so we kind of expected it. Still, I’m feeling a bit numb about it.

The Craig I remember was an older cousin, when we were kids—the loud instigator at Thanksgiving dinners, the butt and teller of jokes all at the same time. I never wanted to be around him, because I always felt like I was going to be on the receiving end of his jibes.

I don’t know when he began to fall by the wayside, I’m sure he started drinking young—but despite the fact that I went to high school in the area that my mother’s family lived, I didn’t hear too much about his trials and tribulations. There were things that just weren’t talked about in my family.

He was the first of my cousins to be married, and first to have a child. But he broke up with his wife early on, and his son was not very much a part of our family get-togethers in subsequent years, even when Craig endeavored to make an appearance.

His death can easily be an example of the demons of alcohol and drug abuse, easily because the liver problems he suffered and brain damage and ultimate cancer were directly due to his drinking problem. But it stinks that it happened all the same. At least I can take from it a stronger conviction that I never want to repeat the same self-abusive patterns that led to his death.

Posted by Bastique at December 19, 2004 11:21 PM

Comments

Same goes for smoking. My mother died of lung cancer last year after smoking for over 40 years.
It's good that you're taking a positive attitude in his death to not end up like him. My family has done the same. My dad quit smoking the day she was diagnosed and hasn't had a cigarette since. I'm the only one in my family that never smoked.
I am sorry for your loss.

Posted by: Annabel at October 1, 2005 4:03 PM

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