« Ecological helplessness | Main | Not all Christians are Fascists »
April 11, 2005
The Six Date Sex Rules
I am so sorry...have been so busy working have had no time to write...here's a best of...dated last October
The writing bug did not hit me today. I have to keep hoping some morning I'll simply be inspired to take out my drafts of A Mirror's Shard and start working it again. Maybe tomorrow morning.
I had a nice date with a friend tonight. That's all, a date. Who's to say it won't become something else? I'd like to do it again. I'm just not used to going out with someone to dinner and then a quick hug and a quick closed-mouth kiss and then going your separate ways. He has had a six-date rule, and although I don't know how firm he's going to stick to it, this was only a first.
I don't know what it says about me, but I don't see a problem having sex with friends. I mean, people in recovery like to fantasize about dating, and then work on getting to know someone before they have sex; although it's rare that this actually occurs. Me, if I've got friends that I find attractive as well, what's wrong with getting together and sharing a deeper level of friendship. I find sex is better when the party of the first part is already intimately acquainted with the party of the second part.
Some people will say something about sex ruining the friendship. Well, if there was unconditional love to begin with, then sex isn't going to change that. Maybe this is simplistic, but I have a higher opinion of sex than I once did, and I much prefer experiencing sex with men who are already connected to me on some level. I haven't had sex in several months, because for ninety days, I wanted to make sure I was prioritizing my life properly.
That period of celibacy has been over nearly a week, and I still haven't had sex, even though I was pretty sure I'd be making up for lost time by now. Maybe it's because I want to really connect with someone beforehand. I don't want to hook up with some guy from the Internet, even if I do know him, and head right over to their house to do the nasty. I want to plan it, possibly after dinner and a movie. Maybe not even gave sex until after the third, fourth—sixth date?
That doesn't sound like me, though. Maybe my date rubbed off on me a bit tonight. I'll have to get together with him again. Five more dates to go...
Posted by Bastique at April 11, 2005 11:16 PM
Comments
Good luck on your next 5 dates.Personally,I think that's a great idea.It shows that he's more into emotion/getting to know someone,as opposed to just "getting it on".He sounds like a great guy!
Oh...and btw,I miss reading your blog.You used to keep up to date....but I suppose you have alot of irons in the fire these days,huh?
I always enjoy reading your thoughts and opinions.....so don't be a stranger. :-)
Lotsa hugs!
Tammi
Posted by: Tammi at April 17, 2005 10:11 AM