« 25 Years of AIDS | Main | Golden Gate Bridge in the Distance »
June 9, 2006
The Letter to Robert Boyd
Here I am, writing a note to Robert Boyd
at the 25 years of AIDS Memorial.As I embark on this journey, I remember the names of the three men that I carry along with me. Not Barry, whose death I mourned two years ago, but the ghosts that remain with me.
This note was written to Robert Boyd, who just "up and" died of a heart attack one afternoon in 2004, stays with me because of the constant influence he continues to exert over my life. Robert, who never could stand a serious moment with me, used me as a party partner; and when the party was over, we stayed apart. I had a great difficulty respecting him later on in our relationship--I would put him up to unrealistic expectations and be disappointed in him when he failed me. I resented the lack of communication between us after our last falling out about a borrowed piece of equipment. I felt like everything we experienced was inconsequential to him when he did not take the time to try to mend fences.
This note I wrote was to let him know that it didn't matter now.
Robert, I know you've put people in my life like Jeff, and sent me messages to let me know you're still around and that I really did matter to you. This note was a humor, hastily written, and I hope that someone else who knew you will read it and smile, knowing the truth hidden behind the words. I release all my own anger and frustration to you now, and remember you with the kindness and love that you always let show, by being there when it was needed—and by not being there when that was the important thing as well.
Posted by Bastique at June 9, 2006 6:56 PM